T-Ball is a cruel sport

As a child I did a great many things. I was one of those kids that had to be doing something all the time or you would feel the wrath of my gigantic boredom. Oh the wrath I would bring down... My mother to this day still likes to remind me of how much trouble I was. It always makes me smile. 
Keeping me busy was always a goal to my mother. In the early days she would sign me up for things. One such thing was T-ball. In itself, T-ball seems like something fun. You get to hit something (and who doesn't like to do that?) and you get to run around screaming as loud as you want. When I was a child no one cared if you actually knew how to play, or if you won a game. Frankly no one kept score accept for those dad's on the sidelines taking bets as a way to pass the extreme boredom they felt having to be there.
I naturally assumed that I would be great at T-ball. After all I was in fact the fastest runner, could jump my bike off of anything and was already on my way to being a video gaming great! So I figured of course I was a T-ball super star.
The coach would look at the players on the team and ask them questions to find out where on the field they should put them. You know, tough questions such as, "Do you know what a ball is? Doesn't it scare you? You get to be in the infield. Can you run really fast? Can you run without tripping over your feet? You get to be in the outfield." I was the smallest kid on the team so the coach got a kick out of making me the shortstop. A position I just didn't understand at all. I mean, I get to stand in the dirt part of the field with the other guys instead of way back in the middle of grassy nowhere, and yet... I don't get a cushy base to sit on! What's up with that?
Now in T-ball, the idea of an outfielder seems cruel. When is the ball ever going to go back there? The three poor kids that got sent back there normally spent their time laying in the grass, ripping up hand fulls of the stuff to fill their hat with, just to dump it out and start all over. Those of us in the infield lived in a state of panic! What if the ball actually came to us? What were we supposed to do? For those stupid kids that got cushy bases to sit on, they had the excuse of, "Well I can't leave my base! What if someone takes it?" I on the other hand had no base therefore realized that I would have to go get the darn ball every time some kid hit the stupid thing. Oh great! As the shortstop, I get to play ball retriever for the whole stupid game! I must admit though I got pretty good at it. The ball would get hit, I would chase it down, and bring it back to the "T" at home base. The grown ups would try to trick me into throwing it somewhere else, but I knew better. The next guy can't hit the ball if its not back on the "T". Stupid grown-ups...
After we watched each member of the other team hit the ball a bunch of times, (each kid got 3 to 5 turns at bat) the coach's on both teams decided it was probably about time to just change sides so our team could get to hit it a few times too.  SWEET! Finally I will get to hit something with a big stick! My true calling in life was about to be seen by the world! 
First of all, to get to my turn took a really long time. Apparently its really hard to swing the stick at a stationary ball at eye level for most kids on the team. And for some reason, when the ball was hit some kid on the other team would grab it and tag one of my team members with it and this creepy guy in black would scream, "You're out!" The game seem to change just because our team was now hitting! I would yell at the other team trying to let them know they are supposed to return the ball so the next guy could hit it but they didn't seem interested. How that many dumb kids got on the same team is beyond me!
Just before it was my turn to smack that ball, we had to change sides. What the...? Not everyone on my team got to hit it yet and it was supposed to be my turn next! Jerks... Well I spent some more time retrieving the ball for the other team and setting it back on the stand for the next guy to hit. And after everyone on the other team got a bunch of turns the coach's decided to switch sides again. Finally! Now is my chance to shine!
With my stick in hand I was ready to go!
At home plate I'm starting to realized just how cruel this game can be. After all I was short, this meant I was looking up at the ball on the stand. The other thing I realized is how cruel it is to have that poor kid standing on the pitchers mound. Not only does he not get to throw the ball like in real baseball, but he has to run for cover whenever the T stand comes flying at him instead of the ball. After I nailed the kid three times with the stand the coach on the other team finally told that poor kid he could sit out.
Now the way is clear and my coach told me I could have one more try to hit the ball and hit that sucker I was going to do no matter what! My eyes close as I swing the bat, I couldn't bare to witness the crushing blow that poor ball was about to feel as the wind from my swinging bat shook the ground and moved trees! My mighty bat comes around just missing the top of the ball but lucky for me that the great force of wind I was generating was enough to move the ball forward. See I knew I would be great at this! I was so good I didn't even have to hit it! Out of fear the ball jumped forward! Granted it was a few inches in front of me but I like to think it was so scared it felt it had no choice but to jump for it.
The bat came around and I twisted down to the ground seeing the ball slowly roll a few more inches in front of me. The people in the crowd scream out, "Run for the base! RUNNNNNNNNN!" I dash to my feet throwing the bat out of my way! It turns out that poor kid I hit with the stand was safer on the pitchers mound! I'm pretty sure to this day, that kid never played another sport again. 
Running as fast as I could I reach a base. The crowd is screaming at me. Apparently it matters which base you run to first. In my defense they didn't really say what base to run too. The crowd should have been more specific. So as I run across the infield from Third to First, the first basemen ran to get get the ball. He picks it up and throws it towards first base. He must have forgotten that he wasn't on first anymore for he wasn't there to catch it! I get to first and sit down on the base. Wow, these bases really are soft and cushy! The crowd is screaming for me to run to another base while other people are yelling at the kids in the outfield to go get the ball. It landed right next to one kid who's hat was filled with grass. He panic, threw on his hat and dove for a ball he could no longer see due to all the grass now in his eyes. I get to second, nope... first base was softer, I should have stayed there. 
Another kid gets the ball and proceeds to run it at me! My coach is telling me to stay there because I'm safe. I'm not stupid, that kid is running at me with the ball! I'm not hanging around to find out just what he's going to do with it so I run for the pitchers mound! The crowd which seemed to be on my side was yelling for me to go to third base. After running a circle around the pitchers mound to avoid the crazy kid with the ball I head to third. Crazy kid finally gets the bright idea to throw it to someone else on his team. Not to the third base kid, he was sitting on the base enjoying its cushyness (I made that word up) and looking really shocked that I was running at him. No, crazy kid throws the ball to the short stop who stands in awe that he caught it. He was so proud that he caught the ball that he wanted to run over to his dad and show it to him. As for me, I had to struggle a bit with the kid on third base for me didn't want to share it. After finally getting him off I sat down happy once again... hold on... nope... first base was softer. I should have stayed there. 
The crowd, now on their feet and freaking out in ways I can hardly understand, are shouting as loud as they can for me to run home. Sweet! Finally something I want to do!
I'm on my feet and dashing across the dirt! Like a cheetah I'm across the grass of the outfield and leaping over a kid still laying in the grass wondering when he can go hit a ball again. I'm at the back fence and over it with the greatest of ease. I'm cutting across the backyard of the guy with the sign, "Any ball that is in my yard is now mine!" I'm sprinting down the street, I can hear the faint sounds of the yelling crowd shouting something about coming back. I cut across another yard over a fence and THEY GOT A DOG! With sharp teeth snapping at my back side I'm over the next fence and suddenly in a back yard pool! I'm jumping out of the water I'm over another fence and dash down the next street. I cut through the tall un-mowed yard of the crazy old guy always throwing things at kids who keep running through his yard. I take a hit by a plastic cup but it can't phase me! I must do this for the crowd of cheering fans! I'm getting closer now, after jumping three more fences and two more near misses by attacking dogs I can see my house! I'm up the drive way and SAFE AT HOME!
I do a little dance and cheer at my great accomplishment! Never in the history of the game has anyone done such a wonderful thing! I would got down in the history books as the greatest player to ever... wait, my mom is driving up in the car. She gets out looking rather mad, "What the heck has gotten into you! Get your butt in this car so we can finish the game! Why are you all wet? have you lost your mind? Wait until your dad gets home!"
What can I say, parents just never see greatness when it happens. 


You didn't ask what was on my mind, but I told you anyway...


--Drew

In the beginning...

In the beginning there was nothing. You would think there must have been something there but nope, you are wrong. There was nothing at all. Then out of nowhere, nothing did something and then there was stuff all over the place! From nothing at all we suddenly get stars and rocks, and atoms, cells, planets, and some guy named Bob!  We can't fathom just how the heck we go from nothing to all these things but there we have it, nothing and then lots of stuff. We can't imagine it yet we have witness this amazing wonderment of something from nothing all the time. You may not have noticed it but its here, there, and everywhere around you! Parents look at a child in a vegetative state in front of the TV, there's nothing going on in the head of that child. Not at that moment anyway. But then the parent will say something like, "It's lunch time!" and suddenly this child bursts into life! A mind filled with nothing is suddenly filled with the thought of food! Something from nothing! 


Okay, you might think I'm pulling your leg here. I claim it to be true! You can ask that child while they watch that TV, "Hey kid, what are you thinking?" and they will tell you, "Nothing..." You tell them there is pizza and watch as the nothing turns into, "Pizza! Oh man I've been thinking about having pizza all day!" Something from nothing.


You look at a TV and think, "There's nothing on." even though you have press the magic button which has supplied power to this box fill with nothing and somehow still have nothing! As you press more buttons and change from one nothing to another, suddenly your eye catches something! It fills your brain with joy and excitement! You say out loud, "I guess I'll watch this." Just a moment ago you claimed there was nothing there and then this magic box suddenly gives you something!


People will drive their car. They will take a really quick look before they turn and think, "Nope, nothing is there." and proceed to "punch it". As if like magic, a car smacks right into them! Where they saw nothing, someone else saw some stupid jerk named Bob pull out in front of them. Again, something from nothing.


There is something very strange to all of this something from nothing business though. I have realized that you can also have something to nothing! I know! Mind blowing isn't it? How the heck can you have nothing, turn into something, and then back to nothing? Let me explain...


I sit at my desk at home and turn to look at my video game library. At one point there was something there. It was once filled with video gaming bliss! Now I look at that same library of games and think, "There is nothing there." sad... I know... very sad. What was once something, turned to nothing right before my eyes! Now my wife will look at this same spot in the office and say, "What are you talking about, you have like a hundred games there, pick something and play it!" Where I am sure there is nothing there anymore, she is more sure that there is something in fact there. I assume she is suffering from some sort of break down, after all the mind does boggle at the idea of something from nothing or something to nothing. It can be hard to deal with. So I attempt to go to the gaming store in order for something to be in my library of games again, but the wife proceeds to tell me about how there is nothing in my wallet and the reason for that is do to all the "somethings" that are on the shelves of my gaming library. And how it will be a cold day in some sort of scary place before I spend more of the nothing in my wallet to make something magically appear on my gaming shelves. I then look at my video game library and suddenly, as if by magic, its filled with all sorts of stuff! Wow! My wife was able to over come something turned to nothing by making it something again! 


So as I gaze at my video game library that magically re-appeared in front of me by the god like powers of my wife. I think about the universe and how there was once nothing, then suddenly there was all kinds of something everywhere and as long as I have my wife at my side there will ALWAYS be something there. It sure does put my mind at ease.




You didn't ask what was on my mind, but I told you anyway...


--Drew